My parents, who are so so good to me in times of financial crisis and emotional turmoil (they're just good people all around) offered to pay for me to stay in a motel for a night so that I could do the drive in 2 days, thus saving me from the obvious doom of mental, emotional, and physical breakdown.
I drove all day, with a stop in Portland to buy a Mac (yes, that's right folks. I've officially reached technological heaven on earth) and stopped in Medford, OR where my mom had made a reservation at the Super 8. Now, I feel like there is a certain stigma against Super 8's, but have you been in one lately? They are getting pretty swanky. It was 10:30 pm and I was exhausted. I was a weary traveler walking into the lobby, circles under my eyes, the only thought in my head being "How fast can I get to a bed?" and then I saw it.
An eighty foot indoor water slide. I mean, whattttt????? In a Super 8? All exhaustion left my body. My soul was uplifted. My face all smiles. Instead of " How fast can I get to a bed?" I was now thinking " Can I swim in my clothes?" "Would it look weird if I went down the slide alone?" "I wonder if they have water wings?" and "Thank you, God for this little piece of joy you have put before me."
And then I saw it. WATER SLIDE CLOSES AT 10 PM AND OPENS AT 10 AM.
Shut up.
It was 10:30 pm and I was planning on getting on the road by 9 the next morning.
My hope and joy was gone. I grumpily checked into my room and dragged my bags up the stairs to my room. I didn't even have a buddy with me to jump on the bed with. I crawled in bed. I was just about to go to sleep and put the awful, exhausting day behind me, when I turned on the TV, and hope and joy and happiness came exploding out of the TV at me in the form of........
Thank you. I can now rest in peace.
