i'm looking forward to being this kind of woman. but only for a summer. :)
i'm looking forward to the sunsets.
i'm looking forward to this being my backyard.
there are many other things i'm excited about. a new place. new people. the east coast..which..lets face it..is a new culture. new job. new new new. and i'm learning to like change. and i'm learning to let go of the things i have grown so accustomed to.
yesterday as i packed up my santa cruz life and said the last tearful goodbyes i felt a type of anxiety i haven't felt in a long time. i couldn't string words together properly. i couldn't stop shaking. a friend told me that you can tell yourself over and over that you're ok and that the transition isn't affecting you that much, but the truth is that your body knows when you are in a state of change. and the physical effects of that anxiety sometimes cannot be ignored. and i've been thinking about how wonderful it would be to just have one week to tie up loose ends and rest and spend time with the people i love in that place. but would i really be ready to go then? i don't think we're ever fully ready to make a transition. because transitions mean you're leaving something or someone behind.
i miss them all already.
i'm sure i'll blog later about the wonderful memories of santa cruz, but for now my mind is on what is ahead of me. 3 teammates waiting for someone to guide them through this crazy summer, an empty church waiting to be filled up with laughter and life and love and conversation and brokenness and growth, 9 weeks of different churches coming to mingo county to serve and be served by my team, there are prayers to be prayed, stories to be heard and stories to tell. the list goes on and on. and even though i have an idea of what my summer might look like...i have no idea at all.
get excited. west virginia stories to come.
