the other day i was walking down the street with my friend casey. we were walking towards the beach, blankets and books in hand, sunglasses on our faces and smiles all over the place.
and i looked over at her and said "living here has given me hope that you can have a life where you feel like you live in a movie."
casey is a joy. and casey..being casey..looked back at me, gave me her famous smile that is always contagious, and said
"yeah! yeah, it does."
and then we walked in silence for a bit. and then we were by the ocean.
i live in a movie.
what i mean by this is that there are days here in this santa cruz utopia that make me feel like i am living someone else's life. i mean..do i really live here?
examples:
-it's no big deal to get off work at noon each friday and nonchalantly say to your friends "beach?"
and then to go the beach IN MARCH with 75 degree weather, hippie moms and naked babies running around you, where you sit for hours soaking up the rays and having good conversation, because..well..you have no where you need to be until monday morning.
-my office is the redwood forest.
-i live, work, and play with some very passionate and wonderfully unique individuals. while this is also a downside to my life and brings about conflict and pain..i can't quite think of anything better than it. the good times far out cede the bad.
-i live on a mountain top, in a Christian camp, where the community is full of fellow Mount Hermon staffers who desire to see lives changed, who work very hard and without a lot of thanks, to do that very thing. i drive down the street and see families i know playing with their kids and we wave to each other. maybe on some days i drive and see someone who i don't really know well, but who i know works here, and we wave to one another and smile with a shared sense of unity. we both may be here for different reasons, doing different jobs, but when you really think about it...we're here for the same reason, doing the same job. (if that doesn't make sense to you, its ok. it makes sense to me.)
-i work very long days. but in those 14 hour days, i spend most of the time being witness to kids coming to a bigger understanding of themselves, their friends and family, nature, the world, and god. no big deal. just..my job.
-long days, yes. only a 2 and 1/2 hour break each day. but during that break you can usually find me up on my roof, with a beautiful view, relaxing and soaking up the sun with good friends nearby.
-santa cruz culture. enough said.
-and last but not least...my favorite part of this place. mount hermon is a place people come to heal. they may not know it when first accepting the job, they may not even know it a few months in. But time and time again i have seen people realize that they came to this place broken, and messy, and doubtful. and that god is doing something big.
this mountain is sacred. and it changes you. you leave transformed. it's almost as if god surfaces every painful thing you could possibly deal with and he lays it out on the table in the time you are working here. in my 3 summers at conference center and almost year and a half of working for outdoor science i have seen countless lives restored. i have been abundantly blessed with walking along side of people who are redeemed and set free. in fact, i would even go as far as to say that FREEDOM is the song of this mountain.
i could go on and on. the amount of amazing sights i see each day are overwhelming. but what i know is this:
i live in a movie. i feel like i don't deserve each day here.
and when things get hard, when im exhausted at the end of the day, when relationships are fractured and i don't think i can take another step, and when i am doubting everything ive been told to be true...i need to remember this. because in 2 months i won't be here anymore. a whole new world is already starting to evolve for the time in which i will be just a memory to the people that remain. it's almost time for a new girl to come in and take my place, and have her life transformed.
and i think i'm almost ready.
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