An 80 foot indoor water slide in a Super 8?

Recently I made the drive from Tacoma, Wa to Santa Cruz, CA. I have done this drive before but it's always been with other people. This time I was flying solo.

My parents, who are so so good to me in times of financial crisis and emotional turmoil (they're just good people all around) offered to pay for me to stay in a motel for a night so that I could do the drive in 2 days, thus saving me from the obvious doom of mental, emotional, and physical breakdown.

I drove all day, with a stop in Portland to buy a Mac (yes, that's right folks. I've officially reached technological heaven on earth) and stopped in Medford, OR where my mom had made a reservation at the Super 8. Now, I feel like there is a certain stigma against Super 8's, but have you been in one lately? They are getting pretty swanky. It was 10:30 pm and I was exhausted. I was a weary traveler walking into the lobby, circles under my eyes, the only thought in my head being "How fast can I get to a bed?" and then I saw it.

An eighty foot indoor water slide. I mean, whattttt????? In a Super 8? All exhaustion left my body. My soul was uplifted. My face all smiles. Instead of " How fast can I get to a bed?" I was now thinking " Can I swim in my clothes?" "Would it look weird if I went down the slide alone?" "I wonder if they have water wings?"  and "Thank you, God for this little piece of joy you have put before me."

And then I saw it. WATER SLIDE CLOSES AT 10 PM AND OPENS AT 10 AM.

Shut up.

It was 10:30 pm and I was planning on getting on the road by 9 the next morning.

My hope and joy was gone. I grumpily checked into my room and dragged my bags up the stairs to my room. I didn't even have a buddy with me to jump on the bed with. I crawled in bed. I was just about to go to sleep and put the awful, exhausting day behind me, when I turned on the TV, and hope and joy and happiness came exploding out of the TV at me in the form of........



Thank you. I can now rest in peace.